The proverbial check is in the mail.

Gov. Jared Polis used Colorado Day, Aug. 1, to announce checks were starting to be cut and mailed to the 3.1 million residents who filed their Colorado state taxes by the end of June. Single filers will receive $750, joint filers are due to get $1,500.

Polis is a skilled politician. Straight-face and all, he did not even mention that his November reelection was then exactly 100 days off. Or that, in normal circumstances, these checks would go out the following April.

Such observations must be for us political cynics. The guv and his minions doing the august work of government would never be influenced by such self-serving considerations.

The fact that even the lowliest Democratic legislator, as if in sync, put out a tweet or press statement mimicking Polis’ messaging and heralding the beneficence of returning taxpayer money to taxpayers was certainly happenstance.

As for the fact that most of those touting these refunds have been among the loudest critics of the 30-year-old Taxpayer’s Bill of Rights, well, I guess we will just call that a minor inconvenience. Consistency and intellectual integrity can be so overrated.

The real tell is that Polis, et al. do not even refer to all this as TABOR refunds. One must dig deep to find any mention of the legal requirement behind these checks. Instead, and never missing a branding opportunity, this money has been dubbed the Colorado Cashback.

It is all so much manna from heaven. That is taxpayer manna, which Polis and his troops pray will grant them another term in political heaven.

The question now becomes what to do with this mini-largesse that will soon be showing up in mailboxes across the state.

As a public service, I offer my 25 suggestions.

Fill up your gas tank. Maybe twice.

Seed a small charity fund for each of your kids. Let them research and decide upon worthy organizations to which to contribute.

Invite Heidi Ganahl and Kyle Clark to join you for lunch together. Sit back and, you know, see what happens.

Buy a shield to make it harder for thieves to steal the catalytic converter off your car.

On the cusp of another Broncos season, donate to CTE research. To deal with the guilt of watching and cheering as these athletes invite degenerative brain trauma for our viewing pleasure.

Treat Douglas Bruce, the father of TABOR, to an always-needed wardrobe update. Take a trip to beautiful Mesa County. Buy a box of Palisade peaches. Play a round of golf at the incomparable Redlands Mesa, a course built into the base of Colorado National Monument.

Good journalism is costly. Subscribe to a handful of publications, especially those locally based. Include at least one whose editorial policy you do not share.

Used to tipping 15%? Make it 20%.

Since Tina Peters’ fragile self-esteem cannot handle the fact that she was soundly rejected by Republican voters, buy her a participation trophy to soothe her feelings.

Pay the money and go see at least one Colorado Avalanche game next season.

Years from now, you’ll be able to brag that you saw Cale Makar in his early years.

Buy a copy of “The Holly” by local author Julian Rubinstein. It is a thoroughly researched and compelling story of racial history and policing with national relevance. But it is set right here in Denver’s North Park Hill with a cast of characters from decades of local headlines. Denver officials seem to have missed the memo about spiking inflation. Hence, a new fee for trash collection. Save your pennies. And your $10 bills.

Speaking of fees, Gov. Polis, king of the “saving people money” news release, has no shortage of new ones. Including a 27-cent fee for retail deliveries. In some places, it’s actually 28 cents as this fee is subject to local tax. Know a recent high school graduate who is heading out of state to college? Give them a Colorado flag for the dorm room.

Haven’t been to Red Rocks in a while? Or ever? Buy tickets and go. There is no concert setting like it. Help fund a new restaurant for Lauren Boebert. Instead of her out-of-business Shooters Grill, this one can be called

Twitter War Tavern. In keeping with her new obsession.

Make your next major household purchase at Walmart. Maybe that will enable some Walton heir to turn their family’s Denver sports trifecta into a quadfecta and purchase the Rockies as well. One can only hope. Know a family struggling to put food on the table? When you are next at the grocery, pick up a package of chicken breasts, some ears of corn and a few pieces of fruit for them.

Live in Colorado Springs? Or periodically traveling through? Pack a lunch and head for Sondermann Park, an undeveloped urban oasis, for an easy hike or picnic. Yes, it is named for my long-deceased father. Pay a visit to Leadville’s Tabor Opera House. Or indulge a shopping spree at Denver’s Tabor Center. Both are named for TABOR, right?

There is no shortage of nonprofits deserving of your support. Here are two that are among our favorites. Tepeyac Community Health Center, formerly Clinica Tepeyac, which has served the medically underserved for over 25 years. And Project Worthmore serving Colorado’s growing population of refugees.

Head to ebay for Trump Steaks, Trump Vodka, Trump Ice, Trump Home, Trump: The Game, Trump Magazine and Trump Eau de Toilette. Collector items, all. If you are that opposed to TABOR, you can give the check back to the state. Black holes need feeding. Did I promise 25 ideas? Well, I have reached my word count. Consider this an example of shrinkflation, that cousin of inflation, where not only do things cost more but there is less to them. So it goes and two dozen it is.