Dear Amy: I have never had a ton of friends. As something of an introvert, I value quality over quantity.

I have never had a tight “group” of girlfriends – just individuals, with some overlap with people who know each other.

As we’ve gotten older, and especially during and since the pandemic, I don’t see or speak to my friends as frequently as I used to. Some have gotten busier with work and hobbies, and some are still reluctant to resume PRE-COVID activities.

All of my friends seem to have friends they are closer to than they are to me, so they don’t seem to “need” me as much as I need them. I have tried meeting new people, but it’s hard to get past the friendly acquaintance stage. We are all in our 50s, so I feel I should be past this. How do I make new, genuine, friends at this age and/or strengthen the friendships I have? — J

Dear J: It would help if you could recognize that longstanding, deep and intimate friendships are a fairly rare treasure. Even people you might believe are social butterflies likely have only one or two people they feel truly intimately connected to.

Your statement reveals an assumption that “all” of your friends have friends they are closer to than they are to you. We humans tend to assume that others are doing better than we are, or that others do not struggle in ways that we struggle. This is underscored in adulthood by photos posted on social media showing happy, shiny people.

My first suggestion is that you do what you can to improve the connection with the friends you currently have. Even making a phone call can be hard for introverts, but if some social outreach, through a call or a text, becomes part of your daily “self-care,” some of these connections should strengthen.

Also, while you are making these personal efforts, do everything you can to stay busy. “Staying busy” sometimes seems like a ride on an empty hamster wheel, but those glancing connections with others can yield very satisfying moments.

Dear Dr. Roach: Are the current strains of COVID and monkeypox similar to the AIDS virus? I’m confused about the manner of spreading it and where these strains came from. — Z.B.

Answer: SARS-COV-2 (the virus that causes COVID-19), monkeypox virus,and HIV (the virus that causes HIV infection and, ultimately, AIDS) are all viruses, but they are all transmitted differently and have very different effects on the body. However, all three of these viruses were originally found in other animals and were then transmitted to humans.

SARS-COV-2 is spread mostly by large respiratory particles, which means person-to-person contact usually within 6 feet of each other. It does not seem to be easily transmitted by blood, by secretions or on surfaces. The best evidence shows this was an animal virus that was transmitted to humans, probably from bats.

Monkeypox virus is closely related to smallpox, but not nearly as dangerous or infectious. It is transmitted mostly through close skin-to-skin contact. Sexual transmission has been the most common mode of transmission, but sexual contact is not necessary for transmission of infection. It’s much more infectious when a person has the sores and scabs from the infection. Monkeypox can be transmitted from surfaces, especially from materials such as clothing or linen that have come in contact with the infectious materials from the sores.

Monkeypox can also be transmitted by respiratory particles, but it seems that prolonged faceto-face contact is needed. Monkeypox was also thought to have been transmitted from an animal (not necessarily a monkey).

HIV viruses (there are two: HIV-1 is the dominant virus in North America and Europe, while HIV-2 is uncommon outside Africa) are spread through blood or sexual contact. HIV is not spread by saliva or casual contact, but objects that might contain small amounts of blood (such as a razor or a toothbrush) can potentially transmit HIV. Once again, the virus originally came from an animal (chimpanzees).

Dear Heloise: My mom, who passed in February at age 97, was an avid reader of yours through the years. If we had a stain, watermark or any other common problem, she had the answer! I recently read two ideas from readers. One was about a remote doorbell used for her elderly parent. I have an even better suggestion. My mom always had her walker with her. We had a very large house, and her quarters were separate from ours. I purchased a remote doorbell with two receivers. One was in the kitchen, and one was in our bedroom. I attached the doorbell button to her walker with velcro, so if she ever needed me for any reason, the button was right within reach!

The second hint is in response to the lady who saves water from her shower while the water warms up. We have a dehumidifier in our basement that produces gallons of water every week. We dump water from the dehumidifier into a 33-gallon garbage can, and when it is time to water the plants outside, I have plenty to go around.

I have also inserted a small pump into the bottom of the trash can and attached a hose. That works great, too, but my watering cans fit nicely into the large trash can when I need to fill or refill them. — Carol G., Seneca Falls, N.Y.

Dear Heloise: I’ve seen many recent suggestions for “youngsters” just starting out. One very overlooked, but incredibly important, suggestion is to inform your kids to find out where their water meter is. They should also understand how it works and how to manually shut it off in case of a plumbing emergency.

For $15, they can purchase a “plumbers key” in any hardware store. It allows easy access to shut off the main water supply in your home, until a professional plumber can examine and do repairs. Also, if you plan an extended vacation, it’s a good idea to shut water off and possibly avoid a water disaster upon coming home! I’m a retired dentist and longtime landlord. I always educate my tenants to at least know this information. — Dr. Z, Little Rock, Ark.