My husband of nine years has a secret Twitter account where he’s been sexting other people, complete with exchanged pictures and videos.

I confronted him about it, explained that it crossed boundaries I’m not comfortable with, and he promised he’d delete the account. A few months later, I noticed he’d been avoiding intimacy with me (again) and learned that he was back at it. I confronted him again and he apologized profusely, promising that he really would stop. But he still hasn’t deleted the profile. I feel betrayed and cheated on.

It turns out that he wasn’t just messaging other women, but also men. I asked him if that was something he wanted to explore. He’s been very accepting about my previous involvement with women (I’m bisexual), but he assured me that wasn’t it. I’m wondering if he’s possibly in denial about being bicurious.

I have too much self-respect to stand for my boundaries being continually disregarded. How do I let him know that although I love him unconditionally, I intend to stay firm on my boundaries? — Bi With a Guy

Dear Bi: You feel strongly about maintaining monogamy in your marriage. You and your husband agree that his secret sexting violates this monogamy bond. (His apologies and acceptance of your boundary indicates that he understands he has violated it.)

Addiction can be described as self-harming and harmful behavior that interferes with a person’s daily life, and in this sense, your husband is demonstrating that he has a sexual compulsion that is interfering with both of your lives (according to you, he avoids being intimate with you during periods when he is activating his secret Twitter account). He would benefit from working with a counselor.

Because this crosses a line you maintain is inviolate, you might consider taking a trial separation while your husband works on his issues. You can love your husband unconditionally and support his needs and concerns without living with him.